why mormon boys stay single

In honor of Why Mormon Girls Stay Single shutting down (tragedy, I know, but at least he ended on a good note), I've compiled my own list of Why Mormon Boys Stay Single. I know I'm not the first to attempt it. This one was off to a good start before they went MIA last month.

• The first date job interview. You know, when they ask you all the questions they need to know to see if you're future wife material. You can practically see them reading off the checklist in their brain.

• Assuming every college aged Mormon girl is desperate to get married. If I wanted to be that badly, I would be. It's not that hard, trust me.
  

• Being cheap. Once in a relationship, knowing a guy is good with money is a great sign.. but on the first date (or second or third) a starving student card or some other kind of 2 for one deal is a bit offensive. L'Oreal thinks I'm worth it, so why don't you?

• Shaving every possible inch of body hair/over tweezing eyebrows. While some guys are disturbingly hairy and I'm sincerely glad for all of our sakes that they are doing something about it, there are some guys that take it way too far. You know the one's I'm talking about. And they usually live in Belmont.
  

• Mission leadership position/Calling dropping.. worse than name dropping. Pretentious. Annoying. We see through you.

• 'Forgetting' English. When a guy constantly says "Oh, I just don't know how to say it in English," (unless he just got home last week) I don't think he's a genius for knowing another language. I think he's either a) an idiot because he forgot the language he spoke for 19 years+ in favor of one he learned for 2 or b)he's a pretentious twit. Probably the latter.

• RMs that ask out 18 year-olds fresh out of high school. I'm only 21, not old or bitter. I just can't take a guy like that seriously.

• Guys who don't respect their temple covenants. You may think dressing up as the Naked Cowboy or the YMCA Indian is hilarious, but when you go shirtless it's pretty apparent to the rest of the world that you viewed your garments as optional that day.

• Going for the kiss on the first date. No.
  

• Calling at 7pm on Saturday night to see if we're busy. Even worse: a text at 10pm. H no. Am I right Zaida, or am I right?
  

• Boys that always want to hang out at night and watch a movie. We're not retarded. Please don't insult our intelligence. Don't think I haven't read He's Just Not That Into You. I have.

• Too baggy jeans from high school or too tight indie jeans. Moderation in all things.

• Wearing sandals/moccasins/anything that isn't dress shoes to church.

• Sitting in the back at church. Or leaving early.
  

• Hitting on girl's in the library. I'm there to study, not meet my future eternal companion. Your first hint: I'm sitting at a table leaning over my book/homework/laptop studying intently. I'm here to focus- not engage in awkward small talk with complete strangers. That's why I'm in the library instead of a BYUSA mixer (gag me). I'm not sure why creepy awkward boys are so plentiful in the library, but they are. Any girl at BYU can vouch for this.

I'm not sure where all these "men are scared of commitment" and "girls are all marriage hungry" stereotypes came from. In my experience, guys always seem to be way more eager to get married. Sadly, most single mormon boys don't blog so this post will be of absolutely zero use to anyone. But let's be honest, I mostly wrote it to entertain myself.. and Courtney.